Public Safety Tips

Serial Killer in Connecticut

 

Date and Acquaintance Rape

If someone you are dating or involved with forces you to have sex, it is usually called date rape. If someone you know but are not dating forces you to have sex, it is called acquaintance rape.

You can be raped by someone you know well. You can even be raped by someone you have been dating for a long time.

Force is not always physical

v When people think about force and rape, they often picture someone using a knife or gun. Or, they think about one person overpowering the other person.

v But there are other kinds of force. Here are some examples:

v Threatening to hurt the person

v Getting someone drunk or high so that she or he will not be able to say no.

v Making it seem like something worse will happen if she or he doesn’t give in. 

v Not listening when at the person says no.

v Threatening to hurt the person’s reputation unless she or he gives in.

v Saying things like, “ if you don’t, I’ll hurt myself”

Everyone has the right to say no!!!

v Even if you have been making out.

v Even if you are drunk or high.

v Even if you said yes at first and then changed your mind.

v Even if you have been going out for a long time.

v Even if you’ve had sex before.

v Even if your date has spent a lot of money.

v Even if you’re dressed in sexy clothes.

v Even if you agreed to go to a secluded place.

No always means no!

v If someone says no to you, listen and stop.

v “No” never means “yes.” Stop, even if you think the person is playing hard to get. If you don’t it could be rape,

v Pay attention to bossy language too. A younger, less experienced or frightened person may not know how to say no clearly.

v If a person believes that she or he will be hurt worse by saying no, she or he might give in for protection. This can still be rape.

When does yeas mean yes?

v Ask yourself:

v Do we both want to have sex?

v Have is said yes clearly and have I heard my partner say yes clearly?

v If the person is unsure or has not said yes clearly, stop. It may not be something you both want.

How to protect yourself?

v Trust your instincts, if you are unsure of a situation or person, you may not be safe.

v Don’t leave a drink unattended or accept a drink from an open container. Date rape drugs can be slipped into open drinks.

v If someone is pushing you to have sex when you don’t want to, say no clearly.

v If the person is not listening, get away fast as you can. If you can, call for help.

v Do whatever you need to do to keep safe. That may be yelling for help, fighting back, or giving in to avoid physical injury.

v Of you are not sure how to say no, ask a friend or family member to help you practice.

v Taking a self- defense class may help you learn to say no and to protect yourself.

v If someone doesn’t listen to you, it is not your fault. If you are raped, it is not your
fault.

Martha Hood PhD